Day 18

Today I was successful at getting to the gym by 5am. I swam today and it was a nice break on the body. I felt very much at peace and satisfied that my workout was out the way!

Breakfast was eggs, sausage, and veggies. I skipped oatmeal because we had donuts brought in for the team. Then another crazy day ensued. I didn't get to eat lunch till after 1.

Thankfully, Ashley had lunch in the fridge. She made us 1 Salmon taco with a corn relish on a small corn tortilla and then we split a bag of cooked broccoli. "That's it?!?!" passed through my head and I had doubts for a moment on whether that was enough food...... We didn't even finish all the broccoli....I was full AND didn't even need a 3pm snack. It just really blows my mind on how distorted my portion sizes are. I seriously need her to serve all my meals! But I'm watching, learning, and getting better.

I was at work till 630pm and was toast by then. I was hungry and the thought of a long drive with no food made me sad so I took a donut for the road. I'm telling ya, things taste better in moderation. Probably one of the best donuts ever!

I got home, fed Molly, sat down for 3 mins and decided we should go to the dog park. Today she was interested in the Frisbee, so I had that little dog running! (Also surprised I could throw a Frisbee). I got home and hunger kicked in so I had turkey taco meat mixed with beans, onions, cheese, sour cream, and taco sauce. This is actually tomorrows lunch, but I was looking for quick and easy. Plus, I know there's enough for 5 meals. It really is amazing how far groceries go when you pay attention to portions. I think I used to finish off a pound of taco meat in 2 meals.

I also had a glass of wine in the tub to relax because I can! Life is crazy, but it feels a bit more enjoyable. I'm excited to move, to go to the beach, and I feel like the hard work is paying off. I like being on my own workout schedule and not having to compromise with others.

I think one of my downfalls was always wanting someone to do it with me so I wasn't lonely; in reality, its a solo journey. How I want my body to look and the things I want my body able to do are personal preference. I wanna do push-ups, pull-ups, dips, handstands, climb a rope, a marathon, a triathlon, and maybe even try to compete in a fitness show!?!!

I enjoy the days I get to workout with friends, but I'm no longer just waiting around for those days or using it as an excuse on why I didn't work out. I'm being selfish about my schedule and protective about my workout time because others will do the same. It's not college anymore, where I know you don't have anything better to do than go play basketball with me. And that's OK :)

It's not that I haven't been living my life, but more so, not to its full potential, not seeing all the possibility around me. I'm single and I think I'm finally becoming at peace with the fact that marriage isn't in my cards yet. But now....shit Shawna! What can you do with your life?!?! Where the hell is your imagination?!!?

In the upcoming 29th year of my life, I'm going to get fit and start traveling internationally. One country a year (well at least try). And I'm slowly gathering the courage to do a solo abroad trip. Life waits for no one and it's time I stopped waiting too.